In the Morning:

A company called "Superior Electric Products," which, she says, manufactured the waffle iron she bought in the '70s.
Phone call: "Are the Internets working today?"
Today's paper.
You can check out books over there, ma'am.
Today's paper.
"Are two guitarists appearing there today?" They are, but you are not invited. You did not help pay for our new artwork.
Books on herbs.
"A big dictionary."
Spelling instruction on cassette.
Our hours for the week.
Sports: fitness training and coaching.
She is amazed that our ILL staff would have a weekend off.
My god, how can we possibly be out of paper clips? Pens, pencils, I can understand. Tape? Of course! But paper clips!
Can I help you? "No."
Plymouth Acclaim and 1986 Lincoln Town Car repair manuals.
Today's paper.
Run, Bambi, run, by Kris Radish.
You can use the WPs over there' ma'am.
Holds at the front desk, sir.
We'll reshelve it for you, sir.
Leonardo Da Vinci art books.

In the Afternoon:

Books on network masks.
Today's paper. Naturally, I hand him yesterday's.
That's the loudest cell phone ringer I've ever heard ...
Don't Run! This one was an adult, and he looked offended.
Yes, we proctor exams, and we have books on Geckos too.
The hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, by Douglas Adams.
The invisible man, by Ralph Ellison, and Soul on ice, by Eldridge Cleaver.
"So, Nietzsche books would be in fiction, right?"
1993 Plymouth Acclaim repair manual.
Armageddon, by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins.
A man digs in a wastebasket for scratch paper.
"The Dewey decimal number for the metric system."
Microfilm printer jam.
Microfilm printer jam.
"In Excel, if you move something, you have to change everything, right?"
A patron's floppy disc causes three word processing computers to crash.
Online catalog advice over the phone.
"An artist, I have one of his oil paintings, named Mario Vincent or Vincent Mario. He was an impressionist. He drew pictures of flowers and ponds and trees."
Parking is free on Saturdays, ma'am.
Bathroom.
Last Sunday's paper.

Internet Signups: 27

In the Morning:

Newspapers and city directories from 1935.
The middle pillar, by Israel Regardie, Simplified qabala magic, by Ted Andrews, and Astral projection plain and simple, by Osborne Phillips.
Nursing exam books.
Yesterday's paper.
Librarian Y gets a gentleman with an "Email situation." He wants to sign up for HotMail because he hasn't found any "soulmates" through YahooMail. I've noticed that the girl librarians usually wind up with these sort of questions.
Patrons who ask for city directories always want more city directories.
Computer crash.
Consumer info on digital cameras.
Sunday's paper, sports section.
Copier's over there, ma'am.
Stapler.
Today's paper.
Tangognat has caught the disease. Sorry, Tangognat.
Colorado travel books.
Missing reading glasses are still missing.

In the Afternoon:

Lamaestria del amor, by Miguel Ruiz.
Today's paper.
Printer advice.
"Is Librarian Q there?"
More printer advice.
Today's paper.
A local university course catalog, and books on "management confrontation."
The Da Vinci code, by Dan Brown.
Books on copyrights.
True crime books.
Books by Louise Rennison.
An antropologist on Mars, by Oliver W. Sacks.
Sorry, sir, our next book sale isn't for a couple months.

Internet Signups: 27

Today I will include the Internet signups in with the list where they actually occur:

In the Morning:

Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
GED books in spanish.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Local newspaper phone number.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
The time traveler's wife, by Audrey Niffennegger.
He needs to edit his resume, which was written using Microsoft Works. I have bad news for him.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Printer advice.
Here's where you find the resume templates, sir.
Internet Signup.
Printer advice.
ASVAB books.
He's got a beef with the Department of Veterans Affairs, and needs their "hierarchy."
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Printer advice.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Word processors are on the table over there, sir.
Yesterday's paper.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Yesterday's paper.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
I fax a computer workshop schedule.
Internet Signup.
Microfilm reader glitch.
Criss-cross.
He wants to apply online to CDW, but he's never used a computer before ...
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
... Let alone a mouse ...
Criss-cross online?
The copier makes change, sir.
Internet Signup.
Kid's books for a project? Try the kid's section, ma'am.
Internet Signup.
Sorry, not those stairs, the ones over there.
Printer advice.
Internet Signup.
We don't have the software needed to open that file, sir.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.
Internet Signup.

In the Afternoon:

He can't get into a website.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
I meant a different password screen, ma'am. Sorry.
A frigging huge library tour drifts by.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Printer advice.
Computer crash.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
A new trend: Drivers licences that are broken in two, or at least severely cracked.
Computer crash.
He can't get onto a website.
Printer advice.
I don't know how to make a border on your document, ma'am.
"What program do I use to make a graph?"
Computer crash.
Internet signup.
"A book with all the pills in it?"
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Pencil.
Sorry, ma'am, the copier doesn't have ledger size paper.
Computer crash.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Computer crash.
Pen.
He requested we purchase Red Hat 9 books last week. He's wondering where they are.
Internet signup.
My computer crashes.
Internet signup.
Today's paper.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Spanish for dummies, by Susan Wald.
Reboot, reboot.
"Has a book come in for me? I forgot the title."
Yes, ma'am, we have criss-cross directories.
CPR books.
Computer crash.
Internet signup, she's wearing the fanciest crucifix I've seen in a while.
Internet signup.
Info on tonight's workshop.
Internet signup.
Printer advice.
Internet signup.
Printer advice.
Today's paper.
Weekend paper.
Monday's paper.
"Can someone here show me how to operate a 10-key calculator?"
Internet signup.
Word processors are over there, ma'am.
Internet signup.
Computer crash.
Internet signup.
Computer crash.
Local Head Start phone #.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
2 criss-crosses.
Internet signup.

Internet Signups: Sorry, too tired. You may count them, if you like.

In the Afternoon:

Books to identify trees.
Printer advice.
A big list of literary styles and movements which she needs defined.
Cahokia civilization.
Oprah books, but not East of Eden. She wants "newer, up-to-date" books.
You can get a library card at the front desk, sir.
Cartooning books.
"Art books." She refuses to narrow it down.
The copier is over there, ma'am.
An atlas to check out.
Mexican independence.
The spelling of "Milwaukee."
"I need a newspaper ... Any one." Actually she was looking for articles on "street racing."

In the Evening:

I fax a computer workshop schedule.
"The index number for asbestos?"
Phone for a Fort Lauderdale newspaper.
Some things I never thought I'd do, by Pearl Cleage.
The coldest winter ever, by Sister Souljah.
"Can I use your phone?"
Bible study books.
"Books on Mexican independence?" We're beginning to run low.
Biographies are over there, ma'am.
Copier advice.
I knew I should have walked her over to the biographies ...
Yes, you can use a study room, if you little group shuts up (I didn't put it quite that way).
Copier advice.
"Nice day today." I wouldn't know.
Sweep: awakening, by Cate Tiernan.
"What time is it?"
Our security guy strolls by. "Even the kids are bringing babies in tonight."
You can recharge your debit card over there, sir.
Stapler.
Books on hair styling.
A woman got a free computer and wants to wipe out everything and start fresh with Win98. Techie X and I bewilder her with advice for 30 minutes.
Disappearing acts, by Terry McMillan.

Internet Signups: 14

In the Afternoon:

Don't use dots or slashes in your username, sir.
Printer advice.
Fiction is over there, ma'am.
Printer Advice.
The surgeon, by Tess Gerritsen.
Printer advice.
Cartooning for the beginner, by Christopher Hart.
Computer workshop schedule info.
He left without printing his document. Happily, it was still on the server when he returned.
Mathematics books.
"Colors of Italy and Germany's flags."
Today's paper.
Local insurance company phone.
Using the army reveille melody as a cell phone ringer is a horrible idea.
Phone number lookup.
3 notarizations. I am offered a fee.
Valueline.
Today's paper.
Printer advice.
Books to get his 8th grader son "up to speed."
Aging without growing old, by Judy Lindberg McFarland.
CD-ROMs are downstairs, sir.
"Books with maps of the world."
My computer crashes.

In the Evening:

Sorry, ma'am, we don't have the school textbooks for western civilization here.
Books on laws and "motions."
That's okay, sir, we'll reshelve them.
Printer advice.
As he passes by, an old gentleman winks at me and says "There's my friend." Who is he?
Charlie and the chocolate factory, by Roald Dahl.
A run down on our Mates, dates series titles by Cathy Hopkins.
Copier advice.
Copier advice.
GED book.
An african-american author named "J. K. California," I think.
Sorry, sir, we don't have the school textbooks for western civilization here. (What is their teacher telling his class?)
The author they wanted was not "J. K. California," but Omar Tyree. Easy mistake to make.
Garbage can.
Two embarassed, giggling middle-school girls want books on pregnancy. It's for school, they assure me.
Car magazines.
Children's Librarian X drops by and tells us, among other things, why she doesn't have cable.
Printer advice.
Another infant is being tortured somewhere.
Sunday newspaper.
Her daughter needs to learn the waltz and the minuet.
Dictionary. Don't hang from the counter.
Windows XP for dummies, by Andy Rathbone.

Internet Signups: 13