In the Morning:

Tissue.
He wants to get his credit report online, when he's never used a computer and can't read or write to boot.
Effectiveness of torture (no relation to the previous patron).
Two guys are here to fix the public printer.
Wilson databases and a runaround.
That man snorts every ten seconds.
First aid for the USMLE Step 1.
Keep it down, please.
I refill a tape dispenser.
Sorry, ma'am, I don't speak Spanish.
Yearbooks 1974-75.
Christ the Lord, by Anne Rice.
Just type in your barcode, sir.
It's awfully early for Librarian Y to start looking at cookbooks.
Wilfrid Brown and some other opera singer.
The microfilm is over there, ma'am.
Pen.
No cellphones, ma'am.
They're still working on the printer. They leave, they come back with another box.
The joy of signing, by Lottie L. Riekehof.
Keep it down, guys.
Cook books, especially desserts.
We print out a powerpoint thing for a patron.
Dictionary, or a map.
Email books.

In the Afternoon:

The printer repair guys are still here. Heart surgery takes less time.